power = legitimacy plus capacity over time

i wrote a while back about creativity. 

in it i wrote about how i need to refocus myself back towards it. today i feel that feeling again.

without knowing it i've aimed myself towards becoming an "enabler". analysing media, obsessing over trends, thinking i can calculate the next best move based on the data.

there was a saying my dad used to repeat - "those who can't, teach" - and i fear as the months and years go by i'm setting myself up to be a teacher, and not a do-er. 

in hindsight there is nothing wrong with either, but when watching the pure creative spirit and energy at kendrick lamar's concert last night i can't help but feel deep down THAT is my calling. to be a "creator". an "artist". or whatever the label is we're using right now. 

what that means for me right now, i'm not entirely sure. all i do know is that the feeling exists, and if i want to release my own creative spirit someday i have to start acknowledging the feelings that shape me

Creators make content for the algorithm.

Artists make art for the audience.

Creators choose money > meaning.

Artists choose meaning > money.

I had the sudden deep epiphany today that I am quite small (a double entendre for those who know me in the physical world).

I look at those who live in power and wealth, living with the puppet strings of humanity in their hands, and I wonder how insignificant I really am. 

Will I ever have my face carved into the stone of history? Will they celebrate who I could have been, or, who I became? 

All I know is, my story is not epic – yet.